He said, “You look good. Keep it permanent.” – Comments / statements from my dad.

Jeannie and I visited with my mum and dad yesterday. One of the new moments we brought to greet them was my new hair colour, which my hairstylist, Sam; did for me.

I was kind of expecting a spike in dad’s & mum’s Blood Pressure readings when they saw my hair colour.

My mum’s reaction was “What’s the fuss about?” Luckily, she still recognised me.😁😂 My mum was / is(?) generally quite conservative.

My dad was a military man. In his hay day, everything was done with military function style. My brothers and I had the same type clothes, shoes, haircuts, etc. A few weeks before Christmas, each year; we had Mr Magoo (1); come over to our house, take clothes measurements for my three brothers (yes, young [still is] Malcolm included) and myself; to make new clothes for us. Same shirts and trouser slacks. Style / fashion: my father’s choice.

“Mr. Magoo” usually known by his real name, “Wing San” (if I got that right); was an old (and I mean really old) Chinese tailor who wore thick magnifying glasses for spectacles, that made his eyeballs look very large and bulging. My brothers and I worried about his measurement taking because of his eyesight. He always had a measuring tape hung around his neck (like all tailors). He’d come with two cloth material samples – 1 for the shirt and 1 for the trousers. Which meant our choice, which actually was dad’s choice, was limited to the samples Mr. Magoo brought.

To be fair, looking at him, he was Mr. Magoo. And he looked like he could be bullied…like Mr. Magoo. But this guy was 1 tough nut… and he knew his stuff.

My sister, Jennifer; somehow, escaped the regimented style fashion. The four boys got the same shoes and haircuts, too.

The late Uncle Ernie Freeman, and his wife; helped influence dad to relax with military style of doing things. This included flaring the trouser bottoms a bit…then became wider as Aunty Val (Surin) and the late Uncle Jeffrey (Surin, Aunty Val’s husband) would tell us, “do first” and see if it will get past dad’s attention. All that is now 50 year old history.

Over the years, especially in the more recent ones, dad has supported us, all the members of our family in all we do. He will give his views and suggestions and supports our decisions. When I wanted to publish my book, SPARKS OF JOY – SEIZE THE MOMENT (now published); he said, “Go ahead and publish it. You are a good writer”.

His is the story – the first chapter of the book. As I read that chapter, his chapter; I am glad I wrote it. Get a copy of the book to know what is in the first chapter.

Both, mum and he were fiercely independent people, right up to fairly recently. Now, they have to depend on aids .

This is how it is, I guess, when people get older. They need to be cared for, not out of pity. They don’t want your pity. They don’t want your probable condescending views.

Elderly people want to be treated like people. They, like you and me; are social beings. They need to interact with other people.

So, yeah; I still update dad and mum with the things we do. Granted, they may not be up to specs with the high, break-neck speed of today’s everyday living. Do I need their approval? No. But including senior citizens in your thought process before your decision making, means they are not forgotten. It means they are respected.

I still remember what my late grandmother told me over 40 years ago, “Slow, slow, catch monkey”. She was already my grandmother then (grey hair and stuff like that). She knew what she was talking about.

“Keep it permanent” – that’s what dad said. I can gel with that.